There are many interesting customs and superstitions concerning marriage. Here we take a light-hearted look at a few of them...
Dressing for the Occasion.
The Ring.
It's All in the Timing.
Just for Luck.
After the Ceremony.
The Homecoming
Dressing for the Occasion.
We'll start with that best-known rule of bridal attire:
Something old, something new,
something borrowed, something blue
and a silver sixpence in her shoe.
The old represents the life the bride is leaving behind, so it should
preferably be something handed down from mother or grandmother.
Likewise, the new symbolises the new life that she is embarking upon:
any new item will suffice. The borrowed item - a lace handkerchief is
considered appropriate - should belong to a happily married close
friend, the idea being that her happiness will rub off on the bride.
The blue represents the Biblical ideal of purity, and must be sky blue,
the colour of the heavens. Traditionally, it would take the form of a
circlet of blue flowers stitched inside the gown at the hem or seam:
nowadays, it might be a blue ribbon on the bridal garter.
The silver sixpence is for wealth, of course, but not necessarily in
the form of hard cash. It should be placed in the left shoe, which
traditionally represents the womb, and is supposed to ensure spiritual
wealth, fertility and marital harmony.
The wedding dress is a relatively recent concept. Until the latter part
of the nineteenth Century, most brides simply wore their Sunday Best
dress. The tradition of marrying in white began amongst wealthy women
in the sixteenth century, and gained popularity in Victorian times.
Green is considered to be a particularly unlucky colour for a wedding
dress, unless the bride is Irish. This traditional rhyme offers advice
to the bride on the subject of dress colour:
Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Blue, your love will be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Brown, you will live in the town,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink.
The last stitch should be put in the bridal gown just before the bride
leaves for church, to signify that her happiness will likewise be
incomplete until she marries.
The veil is a very much older tradition than the wedding dress,
dating back to Roman times. Its purpose, like the presence of the
similarly-dressed bridesmaids, was to confound evil spirits and
would-be kidnappers. Indeed, it was the threat of kidnap that led to
the custom of the bride standing on the groom's left at the altar, so
that he could hold on to her with his left hand and wield his sword to
fend off the enemy.
Although nowadays the blusher is lifted as the bride arrives at the
altar, it used to be that her face remained covered until the couple
were pronounced man and wife. This served a useful purpose in the days
of arranged marriages: as the groom did not see his bride until they
were lawfully wed, there was no possibility of him bolting before the
ceremony because he didn't like the look of her!
The garter should be worn on the right leg: to wear it on the left
signifies that one is a witch. The garter is best worn just above the
knee, to preserve the bride's modesty when the photographer asks the
groom to remove it without using his hands - just for the album, of
course.
The final part of the bridal ensemble is the bouquet. The flowers
should be tied with ribbons, symbolising the good wishes of her
friends. It is considered unlucky for a bridal bouquet to contain both
red and white flowers, though either colour is acceptable on its own or
in combination with other colours.
The Ring.
The wedding ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand because
it was once believed that a special vein ran from this finger directly
to the heart. If the ring is dropped during the ceremony, it should be
picked up only by the clergyman or registrar conducting the ceremony.
If the wife loses her wedding ring at any time, the husband
should immediately buy another, place it on her finger and repeat the
lines of the marriage vow.
It's All in the Timing.
June is a universally favoured
month for weddings, and not just because good weather can generally be
relied upon. Its popularity is rooted in the fact that it was named for
the goddess Juno. As the adored and faithful wife of Jupiter, she is
said to bestow special blessings on those who marry in her month. May,
named for Maia, wife of Vulcan and patroness of the aged, is said to be
a particularly unlucky time to marry.
Married in January's hoar and rime, widowed you'll be before your time,
Married in February's sleepy weather, life you'll tread in time together,
Married when March winds shrill and roar, your home will be on a distant shore,
Married beneath April's changing skies, a chequered path before you lies,
Married when bees over May blossoms flit, strangers around your board will sit,
Married in the month of roses, June, life will be one long honeymoon,
Married in July with flowers ablaze, bitter sweet memories on after days,
Married in August's heat and drowse, lover and friend in your chosen spouse,
Married in September's golden glow, smooth and serene your life will go,
Married when leaves in October thin, toil and hardship now begin,
Married in veils of November mist, fortune your wedding ring has kissed,
Married in days of December cheer, love's star shines brighter from year to year.
Some days, too, are considered luckier than others for marrying:
Monday for wealth,
Tuesday for health,
Wednesday the best of all,
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
Saturday no luck at all.
Just for Luck.
It is considered lucky for a bride to wake
to the sound of birdsong on her wedding day, to find a spider on her
wedding gown, to feed a cat before she leaves the house, and to see a
black cat, a spider, a dove, a lamb, a toad, an elephant or a chimney
sweep en route to her wedding.
For luck, the bride should take one last look in a full length mirror
before leaving for church, but once she takes the first step on her
journey, she must not look again. Many brides leave off some small part
of their ensemble, such as a shoe, when taking that last look, so as to
ward off any bad luck if they later catch a glimpse of their
reflection.
It is deemed unlucky for the bride to cry before the ceremony, or to see a cockerel or a pig on her way to church.
The bride should enter the church with her right foot first,
taking care not to stumble at the threshold. The groom should keep his
back turned until she arrives at his side at the altar, and when she
gets there, they should smile at one another.
The saying Happy the bride that the sun shines on refers to the days when couples were married at the church doorway.
After the Ceremony.
The throwing of rice or confetti over
a couple is a time-honoured gesture to bestow fertility and abundance
on the couple. Although guests nowadays go to great lengths to ensure
the confetti hits its targets, superstition actually decrees that it
should fall around the happy couple.
It is said that whoever makes the first purchase will be the
dominant partner within the marriage. The wise bride carries a penny to
buy a pin from her bridesmaid on leaving the church.
The wedding cake is yet another symbol of fertility and
prosperity. In Roman times, a slice of cake was crumbled over the heads
of the happy couple. The couple cut the cake together to affirm their
intention to share everything henceforth. The top tier of the cake is
traditionally retained for use as a Christening cake for the couple's
first child.
One should never refuse a slice of wedding cake, as this is
considered an insult to the bride, as is toasting the couple with
anything but alcohol.
The distributing of wedding favours is a very old custom that
has regained popularity in recent years. Traditionally, they are given
only to the ladies, and consist of a box or net containing five sugared
almonds representing health, wealth, fertility, happiness and luck.
The custom of tossing the bouquet is believed to have
originated in the fourteenth century. Brides were considered to be
lucky, and guests would try to secure some of that luck for themselves
by snatching a piece of the bridal ensemble. Dresses could be torn to
shreds in the process. In order to avoid this, the practice emerged of
tossing the bridal bouquet into the crowd, giving the bride the
opportunity to escape unscathed. The bride should stand with her back
to her unmarried female guests and throw the bouquet over her left
shoulder. The lucky lady who catches the bouquet will be the next to
experience marital bliss.
A similar tradition surrounds the bridal garter, which was removed by
the groom to indicate that the bride had surrendered her virginity to
him. The garter is tossed like the bouquet, but by the groom and to the
male guests. Again, the lucky recipient will be the next to walk up the
aisle.
The Homecoming.
The bride must, of course, be carried over
the threshold the first time she enters the marital home. The reasons
for this are twofold. Firstly, it avoids the possibility of her
stumbling, which would presage bad luck for the couple. Secondly, the
custom originated in the days when a man seeking a bride would simply
mount a raid and carry off the woman of his choice: she might well
still be struggling to escape as she arrived at her new home!
A very old English custom dictates that boiling water should be poured over the threshold to purify it before the bride enters.
Once she has crossed the threshold, the bride should carry bread and
salt into every room to affirm her position as mistress of the house.
And finally... an old Scottish custom has the mother-in-law break shortbread over the bride's head to ensure plenty.
